So I went to the Scrap Exchange yesterday afternoon because they tweeted on friday that they had a couple of boxes of new vintage sewing patterns. I have managed to find a few shiny gems amid their intimidating inventory of, for reals, total dross, so I figured what the hell. Maybe I’ll come across a former seamstress’s stash of three dozen totally perfect, factory-folds vogue couturier patterns for a paltry two bucks per (and hell no I’m not too proud to drop seventy bones at the scrapx–they can use the money, right? I didn’t contribute to their capitol campaign or anything) and maybe they’d even cut me a deal of an even $50 or something. And then on top of that, I’d find a healthy series of three-to-five yard cuts of fancy wool suitings and abstract floral silk charmeuses with, I don’t know, designer tags or selvage identifications that would easily pay back outright, outright! the recent three-day Asheville vacay that the Mrs. and I just enjoyed. Also there would be free samples of the three-cheese and spicy kale from Toast Paninoteca, I’d finally run into my bestie Adrian from high school again, kittens would serenade my button browsing with purrs and synchronized tumbling and there would be a Rogue tasting van outside with nothing but dead guy with my name written all over the full-pint-sized tasting (sic) glasses. And then I would look down, realize that I was surfing on a wave of chocolate buttercream, and beck and I would be immediately transmogrified into that crazy wave scene from “Back to the Beach” as f*cking Frankie and Annette.

Now come down from that cloud, do your best to stifle those dust-triggered sneezes, and join me on what really happened.

It was sort of crowded and a lot of kids were there, but on a fifty-degree drizzly Saturday afternoon you can’t expect much different. In all I was there right at an hour and I feel pretty good about my haul: three vintage sewing patterns, including a couturier design from Belinda Belville (196-?); a modest handful of buttons; a two-yard cut of a lightweight plaid cotton/blend in a good colorway for Beck; and what may actually be a couple hundred yards of soustache braid in navy and beige (I haven’t counted–and probably won’t, for $8 total).

At several points in I think every trip I ever make to scrapx, I mutter with nostrils in various levels of flared-outedness ‘what the hell is that?’ and, this time, the internet came to my rescue. I found these two little strips of a card of buttons that’d been cut up, and while they looked pretty good (basic black, no cosmetic damage, usable and pretty standard size), I couldn’t figure out how the hell they were supposed to work. Plus they were marked $1 for four, and that’s a little steep for a crazy cheapass like me if I can’t even determine how to work them. On one of the cut-up card backs I was able to read “the old reliable ‘Pilcher’ button” so out came the iphone to find me an answer. I came across an etsy listing that featured the pristine card imagery with this handy little closeup:

So I pried out the center disk there and voila! the back tack came right out; I felt like a cross between Miss Marple and Betty Homemaker right there in public. They seem sturdy and attractive enough to not save for an emergency, and they’ve got a nice rivet-like aesthetic that would work great for a jacket. Plus if I need more, I know what to search for on ebay.

I am all totally done with the pin. Finito! es concluido! готов! And I have to say, I knew I was all in love with random beaded objects before, but now? Now I’m ready to buy up beads by the pound in no fewer than eleven silver-lined colors of the known spectrum.

I can’t look at anything comprised of more than two colors without visualizing it in a majestic BEADED iteration: motel signs, paperclips, my sewing machine, the cats, whatever. I want a glittering royal blue bowl of neon orange beaded cheez puffs as a Thanksgiving Centerpiece; I want a  beaded multi-color portrait of the sign for the Towne Manor Motel in Akron, Ohio; I want beaded arm cuffs of all my tattoos to wear instead of a long-sleeved jacket when it gets chilly. I’m going a little nuts with it–but going nuts is one of my favorite things to do, anyway.

On the other hand, I miss sewing. I cut out the yellow gingham and some white cotton underlining for the Anna Sui knockoff yesterday, and while it didn’t whip up into total perfection or anything? It did feel familiar and good to be in front of the sewing machine again. It’s still going to take some fudging, because I’m not sure what I’m doing and all, but progress is being made at least. I’m a pretty dedicated clothes horse these days, so I can’t spend all my time beading snack foods and neon signs.

And fyi, this ‘pin and many others will be auctioned off Friday, May 29 at the Pinhook in downtown Durham as part of Troika’s annual fundraiser.

Heads up Triangulars, the world-class ABC sale over at The Chapel of the Cross in Chapel Hill is from 9-2pm tomorrow, that’s Saturday 4/12. No visit was as charmed as our first, where we scored a several nice frames, an old projector screen and this lovely deluxe Scrabble board, each one of ‘em for $5 a piece IIRC.

See you first at the farmer’s market and then at the ABC.

p/s. Anyone know where I can score an “Eat Local” and “Buy Local” sticker for my car?